2.12.2011

My Husband: The Man, The Legend


Today is the birthday of the love of my life. My dear, sweet, and absolutely super husband. So, after a well deserved breakfast prepared by his supergirl daughter and me, his super(sexy) wife, I decided he also needed a little space here in etherspace devoted just for him.

Yes, it is no secret that he is the love of my life. If he was nothing more than just another guy off the street that I just happened to fall in love with, that would have been enough. But no, he is so much more. Before I met him, I was a poor heartbroken soul who was ready to give up on love and run away to the nunnery. But there he appeared in my A&P classroom wearing a labcoat and lecturing on the intrinsic anatomy of a cat. As I listened to him, I decided right then and there that I wanted to marry him. Never mind that he was my teacher and that I knew nothing more than his name…I wanted to marry him. But just so I don’t go jumping into an inferno like I had done so many times before, I checked off the list one by one. YES, I had a list- well thought out and itemized after the latest nasty break-up.


THE LIST for The ONE


#1: He must love the outdoors.

Cam is an absolute outdoorsman, more so than me. He had braved freezing winter in a tent, caught and tagged birds in the wild, hiked up to Machu Picchu and waded chin-high into muddy waters. But all his adventures before he met me were not what sealed the deal. It was when we went on a camping trip and we needed to build a campfire but we had no kindling. Then like a lumberjack, Cam said “don’t you worry little lady, I’ve got it under control,” and then he pulled out his axe. My jaw dropped and my eyes popped out into little hearts.


#2. He must be into science.

Science is a big deal to me, I loved the subject since I was in elementary school and always got the trivial science questions right on Jeopardy. It was a definite must that my one and only loved it too - I imagined me and the one in our old age sitting on our porch chairs, sipping our iced teas, and discussing the theory of relativity. So when Cam took me on our first date to the Newport Aquarium in Kentucky and named all the fish in their scientific names, I felt like I was on a date with Einstein. “This is the Zebrasoma flavescens,” he said, pointing at a yellow tang, “a saltwaterfish species of the family Acanthuridae…” You had me at Zebrasoma baby.


#3. He must love children

Let’s face it, my last few relationships were disasters when it came to children. They did not know how to interact with them. I, on the other hand, am infatuated with kids. I think they are the most precious creations on earth and I go into a sad withdrawal if I don’t get to hear their laughter or pinch their deliciously chubby cheeks on a daily basis. So, when I first introduced Cam to my little nieces and nephews, it was actually a test. He played with them, wrestled with them, told jokes, and made them laugh. It wasn’t long before they were competing on who got to sit next to him in the car. I was amazed. Not only did he pass the test, he obliterated the competition - me.


#4. He must want to travel.

Traveling is one of my biggest loves, and it is a must that The One is there to share the world with me. So, not even six months into dating, Cam asked me “If you could go anywhere in Europe, where would you go?” Florence was my reply, and Florence was where we went. This man was proving himself worthy, and he wasn’t even trying that hard.


#5. No smoking

Cam was a social smoker, but he quit when he met me. Enough said.


#6. He must like my friends.

You would think that liking the friends of your significant other is a given - but you wouldn’t believe how many loser boyfriends I’ve had who couldn’t stand my friends and vice versa. Note to self and everyone- if your boyfriend speaks badly of your friends, then he’s probably not The One- DUH! However, Cam was a big hit with my friends. Not only did he like them, they liked him back.


#7. Must have a good relationship with his family.

This item came after the latest boyfriend dodged his parents every chance he got, and I tried my best to reconcile his relationship with his dad. But I had no such problems with Cam. It was clear that family was important to him. He was raised by very supportive parents and grew up with amazing sisters. I’ve never met a guy so close to his family. Not only that, his cousins and aunts and uncles and other further relations have birthday reminders in his I-Phone!


#8. Must be a romantic

Romance is essential for any relationship to work. Cam certainly wowed me the first time when he drove me in his rickety Toyota 4-Runner to a secluded field in the middle of podunk Ohio. It was the middle of the night, dark, and the nearest house was miles away. I had just met this man and no one could hear me if I screamed! Then he pointed up at the sky as several shooting stars streaked the night. “The Perseids meteor shower,” he explained, “it happens once a year. Make a wish.” It was my very first meteor shower, and I was in awe, not only of the magnificent spectacle in the sky, but of the man standing with me. “Did you make a wish?” I asked him . I almost cried when he said “My wish already came true,” as he spooned Ben and Jerry’s Bananas Foster Ice Cream into my mouth. This guy was for real! Real, because the romance has continued through the years. Even now, when I appear before him in my wrinkled pajamas and stinky morning breath…all traces of that youthful beauty gone…he still makes my heart go aflutter with his romantic ways. And yes, every year in August, we still drive to where civilization ends to watch the Perseids in the clear night sky, kids and dog in tow.


#9 Must be appealing to the eyes.

Okay, so I admit I can be shallow - I was looking for someone tall, dark and handsome. Someone with the face of Keanu Reeves and built like Matthew McConaughey. Although it was not number one on my list, physical attraction still had some importance. But then again, I would be looking forever if I was set on someone who looked like a god and still have those awesome qualitites. No one like that exists, right? Wrong. Cam proved me wrong. While I believe in love at first sight, true love comes only after seeing the person for who really is. I did think Cam was very handsome the first time I saw him, but he became even more attractive with every moment I spent with him. These days, Keanu has nothing on him, but we’re still working on his six-pack.


#10. Must love me wholeheartedly

While this is the last must on my list in the beginning, it has now become the most important. I did not expect Cam to love me wholeheartedly in the beginning…I had just met the guy! It would have concerned me greatly if he said he loved me wholeheartedly just minutes or even days after he met me. There are con-artists out there who have broken many lonely hearts while stealing away with their money. No, that kind of love can only happen after going through hard times, seeing the ugly, and experiencing the worst that could happen (I will spare you the gruesome details.) He is still with me, and still loves me, after all this time….wholeheartedly.


I remember a hazy past back in the Philippines, when I was wee, sitting on a painted bench by the sea, watching a setting sun, and dreaming of faraway lands hidden in the orange horizon. I remember a single thought of destiny, that there was someone out there meant for me, and that when it happened…it’ll be forever. Well, that little girls dream did come true. Cam was and is truly The One. He is my knight in shining armor, my beloved Romeo, my superstar, my gallant champion. He is my Superman.


Happy Birthday Cameron, I love you.

Forever, your Honeybear.


2.10.2011

My social butterfly

My darling daughter always amazes me. Not only is her beautiful face beyond comparison, her personality is golden. Yes, I tend to place my daughter on a sky-scraping pedestal. I see in her a person who will achieve great heights and realize her dreams with jaw-dropping tenacity. She has accepted her baby-sister with amazing grace, loved her immediately from the very beginning. She is eager to help me with diapering and feeding, and fetches washcloths and binkies without hesitation. My fears of her exhibiting signs of jealousy have been completely obliterated. Since the arrival of her baby-sister, my husband and I have demanded more of Sophia, asking her to play quietly, instructing her to settle down more often, and making her wait until after baby-sister is asleep or done feeding before we could attend to her requests. And although there have been moments of stubbornness and resistance, those times are negligible compared to the many times Sophia waited patiently with a smile, yielding to the baby’s more immediate needs. And yes I do feel guilty for asking so much out of her – but like a grown-up she seems to understand that she is no longer the only child in the house.

What amazes me most of all is her social intelligence. She can go into a room full of kids she has never met before and within minutes become everyone’s BFF. She is an absolute social butterfly. Her active imagination and penchant for laughter and silliness has made her popular among her friends. The parents of her little buddies call to see if their children could have play dates with Sophia. Her classmates at school jump up and down with excitement and can’t wait to hug her when she arrives. At the park, I am always in awe at how easily she makes friends with the other children. It doesn’t matter if the kids are older or much younger than her, she’ll approach them, say hi, then in the blink of an eye they are running around like old friends. The other day, a girl twice her age arrived at the park and Sophia said “Hi little girl, you want to play with me?” Such confidence. Such a free and easy spirit to assume that everyone wants to be her friend, and she’s never been refused.

Which is why it took her by complete surprise when one little girl said no. Sophia was playing in this spinning rocket contraption at the park and she was having a great time all by herself until this cute 3-year-old girl came along to see what Sophia was doing. Sophia graciously stopped spinning, acknowledged that the girl was smaller than her and politely asked “Would you like to play with me? You can get on and I will spin you.” The little girl screamed “NO!” It was a growl of negativity, a very loud and very mean rejection. The little girl’s mother came and reprimanded her of course, but it was too late. Sophia was shocked, but most of all hurt. No one has ever refused to play with her before, and she didn’t know how to take it. The tears welled up in her eyes and she ran to me. “I want to go home mommy,” she kept saying through her tears. I felt so bad for her, but it was a good time as any to learn a lesson. I tried to explain that it’s okay, that some kids just want to play something else or want to play by themselves, that some kids are just not as ready as she is to become friends and need more time, that some kids are too young or too small to do the things she could do, that some kids are just plain spoiled and the parents should be spanked (that last one I kept to myself). It took some time, but she finally calmed down. And that cute little 3-year-old, blue-eyed blond and all, eventually came to Sophia to apologize and asked if they could play. And like best friends they played until the mosquitoes swarmed and ran us all out of there. But not before the little girl’s mother came to me and asked if they could play together again sometime. My social butterfly persevered once more.

the zen warriors